The Real Problem with Forgiveness

I could sum it all up with this one sentence right now and we could all move along with our day: How we choose to forgive others is how will be forgiven by God.

Most of us may have heard this at some point in our lives, but I don’t want it to end just there (and I hope you don’t either!). There’s so much more to that sentence and I want to really challenge you on the topic of forgiveness and give you a few main points to think about and take with you to start applying TODAY.

Let’s start out by thinking about a person or situation that you’re still angry or bitter about.

Now listen to this. No matter what the person did or didn’t do to you or for you, the situation is not an issue of being offended. It’s not you forgiving the offense. It’s actually an issue between you and God.

It’s your choice whether you want to live in the bitterness of forgiveness or the freedom of forgiveness.

Do you want to live bitter and angry, with closed fists and with tension? Or do you want to live a life of joy and freedom?

Listen to me. Forgiveness is costly and can be so incredibly hard to comprehend or want to extend. It does not change what happened or excuse it, but it changes our emotional state towards it and gets rid of the anger connection to what happened. It lets us live a life of freedom.

Living a life of freedom is the best place ever because you don’t have to worry about what others say or do. You have your own direction and purpose and you really only care about what God thinks about you rather than what others think about you. When someone says something to you, you have to decide in your head if it’s valid or invalid and if it is invalid, you can release it from your mind so it doesn’t have any more connection to you. There is SO MUCH freedom in that. We don’t have to carry that false statement around with us, weighing us down and hindering us from joy.

Think about the joy that you’re missing out on if you’re still mad or holding in bitterness.

The good news is, there IS a way that can help us not to be mad anymore. Typically, we’re still mad and stay mad because we think we’re not getting what we deserve, but here’s the thing...we have to try to be selfless. We can’t change what happened but we can change our thoughts, feelings and actions moving forward.

It’s not your fault that that’s what’s happening or happened, BUT it is your fault if you’re holding on to hate and bitterness and rage and unforgiveness still. All that stuff hinders you. It hinders your weight loss goals, your forward progress, your success and can negatively impact a lot of areas of your life.

Listen to me again, your forgiveness will not excuse the person of what they did, but it releases us from the burden of being mad and bitter about it. There’s so much freedom there. Sometimes we feel like if we forgive, we are losing or losing control but our offenders don’t feel the pain for our anger at all so it’s really us that lose. Why would you want to give people that kind of power over you?

The point is, we have to take off everything that hinders us or trips us up and everything that keeps us from living a life of purpose and freedom and moving in the direction that you designed us for.

Friend, you’re SO much stronger than that and your purpose is so much more than that. We must choose forgiveness to free OURSELVES, not the offender.

Here are 5 quick ideas to start working on today that can and WILL shape your entire outlook on life and more specifically, forgiveness.

1.Act out of love.

2.Always take the high road. (as painful and frustrating as it may be!)

3.Do what’s best.

4.Think before you speak.

5.Pray for a filter.

If you start working at and applying these things to your life in all areas, THINGS WILL CHANGE. People will notice and see a change and begin see you in a different light.

Are you willing to share something below that you’re still mad about? I challenge you to write them in the comments below or in your personal journal and commit to praying about it regularly and watch as you begin to live a more joyful life where God can grow you in ways you least expected.

Let us have compassion and gives forgiveness as we move forward in our daily lives.

In Him,

Mindy